This is probably the most difficult question that a person has to face at one point in his/her life, let alone try to answer this in a single sentence. A lot of people have their biographies written in books that contain hundreds, even thousands of pages. Now how could you fit all that in a single sentence?
A lot of books about the Philippine history have been written in the Spanish language. Sometimes, things get lost in translation, so I want to be able to learn this language in order to know more about our heritage as Filipinos. This is what happens when you take KASPIL under Dr. Luis C. Dery 😉
I think this has something to do with the fact that there are gazillions of Chinese at our school. I feel like I’m missing out on a whole lot of things, especially since this is the most spoken language in the world. Also, good for business *wink wink* hihi.
I wasn’t sure whether to post this here or not. I felt like it was too private. But for the sake of finishing the 20-day blog challenge, I decided to just leave out the names of the people to whom these letters are dedicated. Can you guess who these are for? 🙂
The first question that came into my mind while writing this was “Will you read this?” then came “Will you know it’s for you?”. Truth be told, I wanted to make this as ambiguous as possible, because I don’t want you to know that it’s for you. It’s because I’m ashamed. I don’t know how I could ever tell these things to you, except through this letter. I know that I’ve done many hurtful things to you, things that you should never have experienced because of your relation to me. But I can never turn back time to tell my old self everything that I have learned so far. Maybe it’s also because I have been distanced from you, that I was able to see with wider eyes. I realized all the mistakes I’ve done in the past. Now I know that there is no excuse for all those. In the first place, I should have respected you more, given you what you deserve, and treated you better than anyone in the world. There is nothing I can do about the “what ifs” anymore. That’s why I’m trying to make up for everything in the past. Though sometimes I know, I’m still a failure at this. I’m not perfect, yet despite all that I’ve done, you’re still there to help me. I’ve seen your flaws, but I have learned to see them as a lesson instead of something to disdain. I promise you, I will try to become better. And someday, I’d be able to give you the love you deserve.
I’ve known you my whole life, yet sometimes I wonder, who are you, really? I’ve seen every side of your being, but it seems that there are parts of you that surprise me, parts of you I never knew existed. You’ve been through a lot, and right now, I know how difficult life is for you. Slowly, you’re seeing the cruel realities that have been kept from you as a child, realities that could only be seen through the eyes of experience. It’s a tough world out there. You may feel like what you’re going through is too much, but trust me, there are worse things to come. You’ve kept the whole world ignorant of the thoughts you keep within that high wall of yours, that façade of happy thoughts and juvenile deeds. You thought that those could protect you, make others see you as strong. But do you understand now? Distancing yourself only made you suffer; it has broken you inside. Weakness, it seems, connect people in a human way. It gives way to solace, sympathy, and compassion. It is not, however, something to rejoice in, for others may tell you of the will to power, that desire to transcend human weakness and fault. It is not altogether false, but never forget that to become truly strong, you must first identify the cause of your weakness. In your journey, you are never alone, but remember that the paths you take are only wide enough for you.
Of all the people in the world, you may be the only one who knows me as much. You’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly side of me, yet you’re still here to listen and to care. I know that I haven’t been fair to you. I’ve been impatient, irrational, uncaring, and indifferent. I get angry or upset at the smallest disagreements. You’ve given up your pride just to keep us going. You tried to understand me, gave in to every argument just to make everything okay. Still, it’s not enough for me. That’s why I always end up hurting you, making you feel how much I don’t care. Between the two of us, it’s me who doesn’t understand. It’s me who doesn’t deserve someone as wonderful as you. I know that you should be with someone better, someone who’ll love you more, care for you, understand you, and most of all, cherish the love you give. The least I could do is to give you that opportunity, but I can’t. I just can’t. You see, despite every wrong I’ve done, I’m still very much in love with you. I can’t say too much, because no one can ever love you too much. You deserve every part of it. And even if I always say that there’s someone out there who may be better for you, it kills me to think about it. I want to be the one who loves and cares for you the most. I want to be able to tell myself that I’m worthy of having you. Everyday I tell myself how much I want to become a better person for you, how much I want to try to be more patient and loving, but it seems that I only get worse with every quarrel we have. All I want to say is that I’m sorry for everything, the pain, the tears, and the miserable sleepless nights of conflict. And that I’m so thankful because you never left me, not even once; you never even thought of it. I’m so lucky to have you, and I know that I should value you more. Believe me, I do. I’m just bad at showing it, but please trust me when I say that I love you so much that I can never express it through words alone.
It was very difficult for me to come up with just 4 places that I want to visit because there’s just so many to choose from. So, what I did was to search about “places to visit in the world” and chose a random link. From there, I chose four and included them here. Click this to visit the site where I got these awesome photos for the places I’ve chosen 🙂
The Isle of Skye in Scotland
This reminds me so much of the Calm Lands in Final Fantasy. I’d love to ride chocobos here :’)
I don’t have soft copies of my baby photos since our PC was reformatted last year. I was thinking about how to finish this entry when I remembered my grad party/sleepover invitation during fourth year high school. Okay, this is so embarrassing because I used to be a KPOP fan before, and I swear, I totally grew out of it now, so please disregard whatever shameful stuff I included there. Haha! Three photos are there, and I’ll post the remaining two here.
I was really fat as a kid (even now, lol), and my neck made me look as if I had goiter. I’m really glad that’s gone now, otherwise err….haha! That’s all for now 🙂
This is definitely on top of my list. Since my hair is long, I need to tame it several times a day. Not that it’s frizzy or what, but it’s so thin that it ends up looking dull and limp if I don’t brush it to add some volume.
THE FACE SHOP — MY LIPS EAT CHERRY AQUA TINT
I just found out recently that I have low blood pressure. I guess that’s why I normally look pale all the time. This is what I use everyday to make me look more human, instead of just being really pallid. It’s also very affordable, so it’s fine to use it daily. For girls who have the same problem, I definitely recommend this one.
BEAUTY TREATS MINERAL COMPACT POWDER
I think this one should be a part of every girl’s vanity kit. Whether it’s baby powder, pressed powder, or whatever powder, it’s important to maintain an oil-free face throughout the day. To save time, there’s also those oil-blotting sheets with powder that you can buy at cosmetic stores. In my case, I have to make sure that I look human all the time because I get haggard easily. It takes effort, you know! Haha!
UNIPIN FINE LINE IN .2
My friends, especially those from high school, know how much I doodle on notebooks. Not the cute, cartoon-ish doodles, but just random circles, scribbles and such. By writing this though, I realized that I’ve been gradually getting rid of this habit. Before, I couldn’t tell a story without scribbling or illustrating it on paper. Now that I think about it, I don’t do this anymore. Oh shoot, sudden realization. I’ll ponder more about this later. But just to clear things up, I still don’t think I’d survive a day without a pen.
I thought about it, and I think I have a theory on why I don’t scribble as much as I did before. Ever since I got an iPad, I started to record everything there: homework, things to do, notes, and all that. Whereas before, I would always bring a diary, where I wrote everything that happened throughout the day, but instead of a narrative, I drew small, symbolic photos so that other people won’t understand it as I do. I stopped keeping a diary during the 3rd term of my frosh year (looked at my last entry, it says CRITHIN Midterms), so I guess this is why. Maybe I’ll share some pages of my previous diaries (the not-so-private entries) in my future posts.
Royalty is what I named my phone because she’s purple :’) Cell phones have become a necessity these days, and mine is no exception. There is a constant need to communicate with people everyday, and it’s important to have your phone at hand whenever this happens. I’m not sure if this how other people feel, but during those times that I left my phone at home, I felt uneasy and blind. Haha!
You can argue all you want, but Johnny Depp is definitely the best actor today. No matter what role he plays, he never fails to nail it. I mean, he’s probably the only guy I know who could play a really gay role like Willy Wonka, yet still look as hot as ever. Heck, he even makes bad movies look good! Mediocre story lines don’t really matter when Johnny Depp is in the film.
I had no idea who Christopher Nolan was until a friend mentioned him to me. Now that I think about it, I feel like a loser for not knowing him. I mean, several of my favorite movies were actually directed by him: Memento, Inception, The Prestige! Well at least now I know that the best neo-noir film director is actually the Christopher Nolan.
Who could forget about Jack Dawson in Titanic, or the captivating son of old Montague in Romeo and Juliet? Of course, there’s also the skilled extractor Dominique Cobb in Inception. Leonardo is more than a hotshot. Awesome acting plus his charms and enigmatic eyes make him one of the best actors today.
I think there’s one word that would make anyone agree with me that this guy is awesome—Taken. I’m sure that if you’ve watched that movie, surely you’ll remember this line “I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.” He’s just simply badass, ‘nuff said.
I love Anne Hathaway! I just started to really like her when I watched The Dark Knight Rises. She was so, I dunno, so gracefully feline?
Nicole Kidman is probably one of the most beautiful actresses I have ever seen, during her time, that is. I loved her the most in her role as Satine in the film Moulin Rouge. When I was watching the film, I thought “Her mesmerizing voice and beautiful baby blue eyes are sure to capture the hearts of many”.
Angelina Jolie is the toughest, most badass actress that has ever walked this planet. Just look at that face! Those eyes, those eyebrows, those thick, luscious lips. Everything about her screams badass! Most of her roles portray her as a butt-kicking, gun-wielding chick. If not, then there’s always the seductive demon mother of Grendel in Beowulf.
*DISCLAIMER: I do not own the photos you see here. They were used for illustrative purposes only; all rights belong to their respective owners.